yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
