belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
...so i touched it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
