if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
farters have to be the big spoon...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
