Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Randomize
