i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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