my sisters under your porch take her home
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
