Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
