Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
