I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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