hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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