i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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