That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
