i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
