I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
