Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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