Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
