I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
