Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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