I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
