; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
