he told me I talked like a deaf person
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
40s are totally the cure
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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