Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
be right there i have to get my cape
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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