I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
