I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
