the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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