he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
