your thong is hanging out like whoa
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
