we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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