his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
