im about as happy as oj after his trial
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
