Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
