Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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