Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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