she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
