So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So vagazzling was a success
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
