he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
