It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
