My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
