I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
