strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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