I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
