i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
