I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize