im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
