his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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