I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Randomize
