I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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