I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize