I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
