Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
