I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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