Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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