On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
