how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
