Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Your tits are I can't wait for
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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