Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
