Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize