isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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