butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I need a beard to bite.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
