If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
