ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
