I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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