All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize