We're facebook friends in real life
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
