Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
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