I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
