He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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