i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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